Meet Sunny

Yesterday was a month since Jake has died. Parts of me are still looking for Jake. There are moments where I think that he is still alive and I start looking for him and remember that he has died. It's still tough not having Jake around. I wonder often enough if things will get any easier. I still have to say good night to Jake every night and wish that he was still here.

On Tuesday, it was supposed to be just looking at a Lab puppy but I wasn't aware of the fact that it wasn't just looking but taking one home. Yes, I have a new puppy and her name is Sunny. I know Sunny isn't a replacement for Jake but it does in some ways feel like a replacement. I am exhausted at this point. 

Tuesday night through Thursday night were pretty rough. Sunny has a crate in my bedroom and is in it at night. She is too little and I can be a sound sleeper so having her sleep on my bed just isn't possible right now. It was an hour of her whimpering and a little bit of howling before she slept and then up at 4:30 for a potty break and to eat. I get it because she is an itty bitty puppy and she is in a brand new place with all new people and a new dog buddy. Last night was a little easier since it was a couple minutes of whimpering but she settled down and fell asleep. Lack of sleep wasn't made any easier with my work schedule since I do work in the afternoons. I was lucky this morning when she wanted to eat and a potty break at a little after 5. When that was over, she seemed to be a little more ready to head back up stairs and take a nap. After getting up at 4:30 in the morning for the past 3 days and Sunny not wanting to go back to sleep, it was a blessing to have the ability to doze for at least an hour and a half afterwards. I was lucky last night because I was off work today and tomorrow. Maybe the next two days will be a little easier still. I think when she gets to be 5 months old, she will be a little more trust worthy and will be able to sleep on my bed. I do have technology in my room and I can't really trust her at night not to go chewing on wires when I am sleeping and she is supposed to be sleeping.

When I was setting up the dog crate when Sunny came home, I was having a talk with Jake. I was letting  him know that I miss him horribly, I cry at least once a week due to missing him and Sunny wasn't replacing him. How can she replace Jake? Jake was my buddy and I had a strong bond with Jake. I don't recall having such a strong bond with any other of the dogs that I have had.