Gearing Up for Another Storm

 Right now, it looks like another winter storm is headed my way and naturally, I am going to be working. Well, I only have to work one of those days but it still sucks. When I go into work tomorrow, I will be dealing with tons of people panic buying groceries. I live in Ohio and this kind of stuff is nothing new. It rains and it snows here. What I am doing and going to be doing is trying to get stuff down around the house and really keep on it. Who knows if I will lose electricity and I don't want a sink full of dirty dishes from the night before and with no way to wash them and I have to remember that tonight I need to take the garbage to the curb. The less I have hanging over my head, the happier I will be. All I know that is I am fully stocked on candles and if the power goes out, I will have something in the way of light and the fireplace for heat. Candles don't give off a lot of heat even if you burn 10 at once. I'm hoping that things won't be too bad. I don't want to go through 2020's snow storm fiasco again. Days of no electricity and running waster was horrible.

I finally bit the bullet and cancelled my Barkbox add on. What Jake and Sydney had was a double Barkbox and since Jake is gone, Sydney doesn't need 4 new toys every month and 4 bags of treats. So she is just getting a regular Barkbox now. It's still so strange not having Jake around and how many adjustments that still need to be made to not having him here. Today is the day that I had put away Jake's bedding that was in my room and I have started to adjust to not having Jake snoozing on my bed at night. I still say goodnight though.

For the past couple months, I have been wearing no 5 and craving it at all times. Other favorites seem to annoy me at the moment but I am starting to crave Tobacco Vanille more and more and starting to hanker for Lost Cherry. I have travel sprays of both and I am debating on when the Sephora spring sale comes, do I want to go down the Lost Cherry or the Tobacco Vanille full bottle route? I have enough no 5 to last me for the next 10 years. It's funny on how I've never paid a whole lot of attention to Tom Ford offerings. Maybe his prices are even more outrageous than Amouage's prices. We shall see what the future brings between now and April.

Pandemic Shopping

January has been a long month. The holidays are over, a silver alert was issued for a family member and Jake passing away has taken it's toll, It's taken a toll physically and emotionally. Now my bank account has taken the biggest hit.

The pandemic has changed my shopping habits even more. Most of my shopping has always been online but it has gotten even worse. Outside of grocery shopping, it was always rare that I went to a physical store to buy anything. But the option was always there, if I wanted to get out of the house. When there was that lock down for two months, the only places that people could go was to a gas station or a grocery store. If you wanted to buy anything that wasn't groceries, the only option was shopping online. And I have been buying even more online.

For the longest time during the pandemic, groceries went up a little bit but nothing too horrible. Now the price of food has gone up but my paycheck has remained the same. What's good at this point, I haven't added any new candles to my candle collection or any new perfumes. It's amazing on how bad the supply chains have gotten and how expensive everything has gotten after 2 years. I'm still on for the Sephora VIB sale in April and I am hoping that from now until April, things will improve for me. All it can take is for one lousy paycheck and a unanticipated event can screw things up for a while.

Today was the day that I went to the vet's office to pick up Jake's ashes. Jake's ashes was another reminder that Jake had died and was coming home in an urn. On the way home, I was trying not to cry and it was the first time in over 20 years that I had to only get one dog license. I loathed the fact that I needed to run to the store to pick up a couple things for dinner. I just wanted to get Jake home and try not to think about  a lot of things. I would never be able to take Jake to the park for a walk and it would be his last car ride home and he wasn't in the land of the living anymore. The park that I've always taken Jake to was right next door to where I got Sydney's license. Even though Jake has been gone for 11 days, I still say good night to him and when I wake up, I still look for him to give him his good morning kiss and cuddle. I still look for him when I come home from work and but I know he's gone and 13 years of habit don't change overnight. A couple days ago, I picked up his food and water dish and put his bedding in the family room away. I still haven't picked up his bedding in my room and I don't think I am quite ready for that yet. Packing up Jake's belongings and putting them away, along with picking up his ashes makes everything so final. I'm not sure I am ready yet to put away his bedding from my bedroom. The bedding is probably going to be staying for a while.

My Heart is Still Broken and Chanel Coco

It's still incredibly hard since Jake's permanent goodbye. Sydney is still looking for Jake and I don't know how to tell her that Jake isn't coming home alive. He is coming home in an urn and I wish that he was still alive in my arms. I'm having a very hard time sleeping, eating is a chore due to no appetite and I am dreading going back to work tomorrow. My first shift back at work since Jake died and I won't be able to hear him bark at me when I come home. He would bark at me because he would want to go outside and do his business. That barking was also a joyful bark because I was home. Never again will I hear the sound of Jake's voice in the land of the living. That bark is only a memory now. I finished that Midnight Snow candle and that is part of the little memorial that I am currently making for Jake. Lighting a Winter candle was a little rough. The first brand new candle that I lit and Jake is gone. My parents and I went out to dinner tonight and we were putting away any kind of food thing out of habit and remembered that Jake is gone and there wasn't much of a need anymore. Sydney was never a counter surfer but Jake always was. There are 13 years on ingrained habits that are very hard to break. It's always the final goodbye that is the hardest when you lose a pet. We tried to extend Jake's life with that thyroid surgery and fatty tumor surgery and give him a better quality of life.

A couple people that I know have dismissed my grief over Jake and got on my case about blogging about it. Jake has more than earned a place on my blog, all my dogs earned a place on this blog. This is my blog, my dogs and I will blog on what I want. They think that pets are a waste of time and money. I had to go nuclear on one person and make him reassess a lot of things. Having a dog can make a person less self absorbed. A dog teaches you about love, about loss and joy. They help you learn to live in the moment. With Jake's last few days, it was hard to live in the moment knowing that his time on earth was really finite instead of infinite. I made sure to tell him that he was an awesome buddy and I loved him very much. I asked him to say hi to Annie, Bailey and Charlie for me and I hope when I die, I will get to see them again. 

Today was the first day that I was looking forward to wearing perfume. Saturday through Wednesday was remnants of whatever I had on my sleeves or like yesterday, Shalimar. Shalimar was part comfort and part honoring my time with Jake. Today, I broke out my new bottle of the original Coco (not the flankers). Still smells like 80's work and still smells like what I remember from that decant that I had. Back when STC and TPC had Chanel decants, I had gotten a ton of Chanel decants. Then the Chanel company really cracked down of decanters and you can't really find anyone that decants Chanel perfumes anymore. But Coco smells a little less dated or they might have changed some things around but it still smells like Coco.

The First Full Day

 This is the first full day that I don't have Jake with me. I am still crying and trying to cope. Today is the first time I woke up and Jake wasn't there. The first day that I wasn't able to give him his good morning kiss and cuddle and last night was the first night that I wasn't able to give him a good night kiss and cuddle. I had a doctor's appointment today and it was the first time in almost 13 years he wasn't there to run up and greet me when I came home. Today is the first time that a Barkbox will come and he won't be there to tear open. I was hoping that this month's Barkbox would come earlier for him and Sydney to tear open. It will be Sydney's first Barkbox to open alone. As I am typing this, the Barkbox has arrived and I am sobbing. Sydney is confused but she knew Jake was sick and she was there when we put down Jake. I wanted Sydney to say good bye and I am happy that we took Sydney along with us. We took her with us and thought she could say good bye to Jake and maybe understand the process and that Jake had died. Death might be a part of life but losing Jake doesn't make that fact any easier. Jake was my buddy and it's going to be even harder tonight when Sydney and I go on our walk at night. Jake won't be there and I won't get to walk him anymore.Some time next week, I will be picking up his ashes and paw prints. I am not sure how I will be able to face that fact. Today is the first full day that wasn't spent giving Jake his medication in globs of peanut butter. My appetite is pretty much shot where all I want is a mouthful of food and don't want anymore food. Watching Dr Pol on TV brings me no joy it's not a whole lot brings me joy at this point. Looking at Jake's leash, I know that I will never be able to take him to the park again for even more walks. Jake really did love going to the park.

When I first got Jake, I wore Shalimar and I am trying to honor our time together with Shalimar today. Is it bringing me comfort? Not really. I just want Jake here with me and alive.I might still have Sydney but she is just as lost as I am and she is confused on why Jake isn't here. She doesn't quite understand that Jake isn't coming home alive but in an urn. I know that Jake was sick and his quality of life wasn't good and putting him down was the only option left but it wasn't what I wanted.

Jake Had Died

After a long, hard weekend, the hardest decision a pet owner faces was made. Jake has passed away. We had a vet appointment this afternoon for a couple x-rays and there was a confirmation on end stage cancer. I'm a mess right now. Everywhere I look, there is a reminder of Jake. His blanket bed thing by the television, his food and water dish still in the same spot and dog toys everywhere. I don't have the heart to pick any of that stuff up at the moment. Just like I didn't want to put on perfume today, today felt like a day where perfume just didn't suit. 

After Jake was put to sleep, I didn't want to leave him there, cold and alone. Yes, I will be getting a paw print and his ashes in a week. It was going to the vet today with 2 living dogs but leaving with only 1 living dog was a horrible feeling.

Yes, this morning's walk was the last walk I was able to take with Jake. There were so many lasts with Jake today. The last day that he got a car ride, the last time he had his favorite treats. I will never again hear him snore, have a puppy dream, nor will I hear him bark at me for a walk. I won't smell his horrible gas or listen to him "talk" when we are cuddling. I didn't want it to be the end of the road with Jake but today was the end of the road. My eyes are red and swollen and I feel like shit. One of the things that I will miss the most is opening a Barkbox every month with Jake.

Jake had always gotten the biggest kick out of Barkbox. A package that came every month and he knew that it was for him. I know that I am going to set aside the Gordon the Giant Sloth toy along with the video game controller toy. The Barkweiser Clydesdale toy is getting set aside as well. Those were his 3 favorite Barkbox toys. It's hard to accept that Jake isn't alive anymore and I will never see him play with those 3 toys or play with his little sister, Sydney.

I am thinking of the day around 11 years ago, Pilots and Paws brought Jake to us. At the time, he was about 2 years old and looked like Santa's Little Helper. I was at work when my parents brought him home. When I had arrived home, Jake came racing right up to me, tail wagging and leaned right up against my legs wanting cuddles. In that nano second, I seemed to be his special person and was until he took his last breath. It won't be an easy few days for Sydney, my parent and I.

Right now, I have a Bath and Body Works Midnight Snow candle going in remembrance of Jake. I am currently hoping that he is at peace and playing with Bailey and Charlie over the Rainbow Bridge.

It Pours

When it rains, it pours. Jake seems to be rallying but we just got a call from the vet. There might be some cancer that's on his liver. We go tomorrow afternoon for some x-rays. This is news that I don't want to hear. It means no matter whatever we do now with Jake in terms of treatment, it's going to be just a band aid. It might buy a couple weeks but the end result is going to be the same. 

Truth be told, I am exhausted. Too many late nights and early mornings combined with not being able to sleep in my bed. Jake is too week right now to climb 13 stairs to and go to bed. So it's sleeping on the couch in our family room. Since there are others around right now, I might sneak away for a nap in my own bed. Perfume and candles are not really on my mind is because I am more focused on keeping Jake hydrated and see what kind of food he will eat.

Last night was our first major snow storm/event type of deal. Much to my surprise, our electricity has stayed on. I didn't want a repeat of November 2020's snow storm. The one that left me without electricity and water for a week. The only difference is that I have an ailing dog and it's January. This year so far has been pretty crappy for me so far.
 

Worried

Right now, I am a little worried about one of my dogs. Jake hasn't been eating all that well for about 3 weeks. When Jake didn't want to eat his normal dry dog food, we switched to canned dog food. After a week, he wouldn't touch canned dog food. Then, we started to make our own dog food and the past few days, he wouldn't really touch it. He is drinking and taking treats but that's not enough. Coupled with what looks like sun downing and some mobility issues.

I am hoping that when we take Jake and Sydney to the vet tomorrow, I come home with two dogs and not one. I am hoping that it is something simple like a bad tooth or two or maybe some kind of simple infection. We are looking for a simple fix where Jake comes home alive. He is still wagging his tail and looking for love and affection.

I don't want tonight to be the last night for a lot of things for Jake. Don't want it to be the last time I take him for his nightly walk, the last time I take him upstairs to sleep, the last time he gets to rough house with Sydney. There will be the last time and I am hoping that it is not tonight. That day always comes and it's unavoidable and we never seem to have as much time as we think we do. I'm hoping that I do have a little more time with Jake and that time doesn't come to an end tomorrow.

Waiting For That Storm

It's January and the holidays have passed. It's some serious bill paying time. You know, all the Christmas shopping that I did do, needs to be paid off. I am not really missing  getting packages in the mail anymore. I've had my fill of the Bath and Body Works semi annual sale. I wasn't too impressed with the semi annual sale though. It just seemed like the candles were picked over online and I am not a huge bath product type of person. I might have favorites when it comes to bath products, I am very picky when it comes to that stuff. I only bought 4 candles and don't have interest of adding more. What I am doing is if it's not bare bones necessity, I don't need it. Yes, I used most of my Ulta points for Chanel perfumes, I don't want to use the rest of those points quite yet. I am currently cutting down on any kind of extras. Subscriptions that I don't really need or use, I had to strip the Barkbox of all the extras and a few other things.

I think that my eldest Lab, Jake, is on a downward trend and naturally, when money is a little on the tight side, I have a vet appointment. So everything is going to be very tight for a few weeks. I'm not sure what is going to happen or what  exactly the cost is but I'm hoping that it's nothing too serious and it's not horribly expensive. Dogs can be expensive and I do worry as they get older. When they get older, they have the tendency to accumulate all kinds of medication. Let's just hope that this is a quick and cheap fix for me.

I'm still waiting on that huge winter storm to come sailing through my neck of the woods. Not seeing anything that would suggest a massive storm headed my way at this moment. But I am waiting for it but when that storm does hit, our water pump won't break this time. As soon as I hear about a winter storm, I will be a little better prepared this time around. I am going to make doubly sure that my phone stays charged, that need paying are paid but I know I at least have plenty of candles if the electricity goes out and stays out. I am not willing to go through a week without running water and days without electricity again like November 2020 when we did have that snowstorm. I am just hoping that if a snowstorm comes, I will be scheduled off that day. And hopefully, stocked up on groceries too.
 

Philosophy Amazing Grace EDT Review

 When I made diamond status on Ulta, I had a choice of a perfume mini or something with makeup. Naturally, I had to choose the mini. If I remember right, the only option was Philosophy Amazing Grace. Amazing Grace has been around for a while and have never gotten around to trying it out. I've just never got around to even trying any of the Philosophy line.

Amazing Grace has been around since 1996, just as I was entering high school. I don't remember anyone in high school wearing it, it was mostly Happy, CK One or Cucumber Melon that permeated the halls and classrooms of where I went to school. People might have worn it but for high school students working part time jobs, it probably wasn't all that affordable and probably a little more difficult to find. Happy was probably pushing it in terms of affordability.

Amazing Grace is not all that amazing to my nose. It's a lily and musk type of thing. The musk is a clean type of musk and I am not smelling the sexiness of the musk at all. People who have reviewed it as a sexy perfume due to the musk and I have no idea how they can call it sexy. Maybe MKK and BaV has spoiled me or ruined my nose in what I consider sexy. I did have a bit of a liking for the lily note but this perfume really smells like something from the 90's. The whole clean, your skin but better type of thing. It's really not my thing but might have been a thing for me when I was in high school. Mercifully, the edt didn't last too long on me and think Ulta maybe could have done a little bit better when it came to the choice of perfume mini when there are probably better perfumes out there. The whole your skin but better thing has really got to stop in the perfume world. What's the point of your skin but better in terms of  perfume? I will admit that I want to wear a perfume that smells like I am wearing perfume.

New Year and Stockpiling

 It's a new year and it's already been a shaky start to it. Somehow, an elderly relative got confused when they were supposed to meet someone for lunch and got themselves lost in a familiar area. They have been found and now some hard decisions will be made. Choices that my parents have been dreading and now all of that has come. My mother will be talking to the doctor due to the fact that the next time, the elderly relative won't be so lucky the next time.

Ever since the pandemic has started, the prices of everything has gone up. Groceries, gas, and household items have started to become very expensive.I've had to make some choices with groceries that I didn't quite want to make but had to do it because I am making an effort to have my paychecks stretch a little farther.

I have mostly stuck to a few things so far but it's 3 days into the new year and I already goofed up. My last candle purchase was made on the 29th of last year and I have already finished 2 candles and don't have the desire to add more at this point but will have to see what happens a few months down the road. 

After I stockpiled all of those Ulta rewards points, I had stocked up a quite a few bottles of Chanel perfumes. This first order was made a few days before the new year and the 2nd one was today. I was poking around Ulta's website and saw that the price of every Chanel was raised at least $5 or more and when I cross checked the Chanel website, it was the same deal. Out of curiosity, I was checking out the Les Exlusifs line and holy shit, the price went up at least $50. So after the Sephora spring sale, I guess I won't be getting any more Chanel products for a very long time. But at this point, I've stockpiled enough Chanel perfume. My only plan is to get just another bottle of no 5 extrait. I have enough of the no 5 edp and edt. I don't need anymore Coco Mademoiselle either. I don't wear Coco Mademoiselle as often as I thought I would and I don't need more of it. Yes, perfume prices are a first world problem and perfume is a luxury but it's become harder and harder to justify something that makes me happy.

There aren't too many things that I stockpile but over the past 3 or 4 years, I have amassed a huge collection of candles. I never did those massive Candle Day runs. If anyone else has done the Bath and Body Works Candle Day sales, you will see people loading up on the maximum allowed for the sale and after then turn around a buy more. I've heard snippets from others passing by that they go to at least four or five stores and do this. They are either scalpers or just greedy. Most of the time, I only get a personal maximum of 4 in a single sitting and only once have I bought 10 in a single sitting. Truth be told, I haven't even had the ability to get 20 candles in one sitting and it does seem like pure greed to go out and wipe out a store's entire stock.

Even in the beginning of the pandemic, when states were starting to shut down, I didn't go to any store and buy every last roll of toilet paper and cleaning products. I figured that other people needed that stuff as much as I did and I didn't need to hoard things. I've already hoarded enough candles and perfume already. Now let's get back on track with the using up what I have and not sink more cash into my hobbies.